Puzzled by the Male of the Species

I had an interesting experience being self employed the last three days. For the last year, I had been working steady, sometimes had way too much work, and I only remembered 2 times where I had absolutely nothing to do for a day. This time, it had slowed down to a trickle, say a billable hour or two a day, for 2 weeks. Most of my work is residential, so I thought the economy had caught up with me. People whose house is being foreclosed don't want to remodel or add-on. I totally get it. So I decided I needed to do some marketing and find some new architect or structural engineer clients who actually might need help drafting. I did everything - post my resume on craigslist, scour the ads, call my Italian uncle, etc. Then I had the creative idea to ask my existing clients to refer me on - pass my resume forward to their friends & collegues who might need help. I really thought this might work! But in a weird way it has backfired.

Here is the letter.

To my dear Clients,

I've been brainstorming about how I, as a small business owner, will survive the current downturn in the economy. I know one thing for sure: I'd like to stay self-employed, rather than become employed - I am sure you can understand. I want to stay proactive about it, so I need to expand my client base. If it is true that "it is who you know, not what you know", you can help me.

If you have any friends and collegues who may need some help drafting their
architectural, structural or landscape projects, now or in the future, please refer me to them. I also survey and draw as-built plans for homeowners directly, should you know of anyone who may be interested in that kind of service. I am attaching my resume as a pdf for you. Please feel free to pass it forward.

Thank you for all your help.

Sincerely.

The first client I told about this said, panicky, "but I'm afraid I'm going to loose you! What if somebody gets really busy before I do?"
Second client called me the same night. "I have more work than I can handle, but I can't filter it down to where you can take over! Can you think about that?" The next day, I was out in the morning, but he had a project for me, immediate needs of course. It's a pretty tiny job.
I had a 9 page fax with sketches to draft from another client for a small project. I had an email from yet another client with another small project.

What freaks me out is that suddenly everyone is superconcerned, but that nobody said, "OK, I'll pass it on to soandso and s/he might call you". These projects are small, and they won't keep me busy for long. I am grateful for the work in the interim. But it is as though their fatherly protective instinct kicked in and what they are hearing is that I'm broke, homeless and hungry. So they are being supernice and giving me what they can. The thing is, I don't think my email sounded so desperate. But I feel like I'm getting pitywork. I want my clients to think of me as sought-after and successful, not as scraping the bottom! I thought I was being smart marketing myself in a slowing economy. Tell me, did that letter sound desperate? Would they act differently if I were a male? What can I do to make them respect me more rather than assume that I'm starving?

A Rant. You have been warned.

I decided to change my webhost this week and so I have no email for a couple of days. I feel so isolated and disconnected! Just like loosing your cell phone. It's weird. I'm moving away from the incredibly bad ipower to the hopefully much, much cooler Hostgator. All the webhosts' websites look pretty much the same to me, promising 99.9% uptime and 24/7 tech support, but only time will tell. At least Hostgator seems to have real people, their hold system tells you how long the wait is and how many people are holding in front of you, and you can rate their email responses. But seriously people, stay away from ipower, unless of course you actually like to be on hold for tech support for an hour before anyone answers. Or, if you like filling in trouble tickets, then getting back answers that make no sense. Or, if you like getting disconnected from tech support. Or, if you like being told the problem will be fixed in 60 minutes. Or if you like your ftp site address to change without being told, so you're embarrassed when your clients ask why they can't get their files.

One of my whinier clients resorted to calling me each and every time he sent me an email to see if it was there yet, then muttering under his breath "god!" when I told him "not yet." How about now? Is it there now? Funny, his computer says he sent it. When was the last time I checked? Could I check again now? I finally had to tell him to stop or I would put him on notice. Calling someone everytime you send an email actually does not make it work faster. Did you know that? Unfortunately, work is slow - I think when people are worried about paying their mortgage, they don't really feel like remodeling or adding on. Sad for me, but that means I can't really drop annoying clients either, as long as they have work for me. But it helps to write it down.

I''m Fine. Also, knitting.

I know. It's not nice of me to leave people hanging like this. By now, my Dad and my brother have actually read my blog! I didn't know they did. That's the way my family works, I guess. I didn't want to tell my family unless I knew for sure if this was serious or not, because they are so far away and they would only worry. If you put it out there on the innernets, even if it's just for personal therapeutic reasons, word travels eventually.

But anyway, 3 biopsies later, one with 8 samples, my doctor said it's for sure that I have a fibroadenoma. I *heart* fibroadenomas! Mostly because they never turn into cancer, and I'm quoting the doctor here. He said I could have it taken out if it freaks me out, but I could just as well choose to keep it. I'm keeping it, because the thought of having it removed freaks me out even more than it does to have it in me. Also, I now have a clip in my boob, so they'll know exactly where to check next time I have a mammogram. So, all is well.

I don't feel like blogging much lately. I've gone in and out of phases keeping diaries all my life. Maybe this is a phase where I don't need one. I've been knitting, but taking pictures of my knitting is such a PITA, that's what usually keeps me from it.

I've finished the little Norwegian baby sweater for my landlord's son. He is in Brazil now - I'm sure his Mom's family will love the ski theme - or not! But it made me feel good to make a sweater for such a new little person on this planet. This is his Dad holding it, but I decided to cut off his head rather than explain the fact that I blog and oh yeah, would it be OK if I posted this picture of you holding this sweater? I don't think so.


I made the 3-6 months size, and finished it exactly when the little guy was 3 months, so I'm hoping it will fit. More than that, I'm hoping I'll get to see him wear it!

I've also finished and am wearing the purple sweater, which will probably remain unmodelshot unphotographed forever. But here it is. It has a zipper now. Honest.
Love wearing it. Not quite as homey as the original, green Ribbie, but it's just fine. My gauge seems to have loosed up quite a bit since I knitted the first one. I followed my notes and used #8 needles, but #7 would have given me a result closer to the original. I love Cascade 220. Economical, all the colors you would want and hardly any pilling. It's not luxurious cashmere, and not as soft as alpaca, but it's my yarn of choice for a utilitarian, yet stylish, sweater like this.

And, I've finished something totally cute for my girlfriend - the pink spirally knee socks from IK Summer 07.

You see, she's from Texas and likes to wear her cowgirl boots. (Though she likes it to be known that she never owned a pair while living there and never wants to go back, either.) She's getting this for her big birthday, which is coming up, so this is the picture I liften from IK - not her legs. We had a little bit of a tough time on Valentine's Day. I'm just saying that day doesn't exist for me anymore. Completely disappeared from my calendar! But after we got over our little spat, she gave me the Knitting Lingerie Style book. It's very inspiring. So I know what I'm making next!

Love y'all. I may blog more when she's wearing them and when I have yarn for my new project.