After the cathartic last post, I did what any self respecting hippie woman would do to cheer herself up and to chill out. Yes, I cooked. (What did you think?) I totally sought emotional refuge in food. I made Rachael Ray's Meatloaf Muffins with smashed potatoes. And a salad. I had two helpings of that and then icecream with chocolate syrup. Comfort food to the max. The muffins came out extremely cute! They tasted great, too. YUM. I felt better.
Then yesterday, I had the appointment with the surgeon. He did another exam and used a small ultrasound machine, which showed him a cyst and the questionable lump. (Hey, two in one!) He said the lump should definitely come out. I was ready for that anyway. Then he did another biopsy - one that required local anesthetic and a bigger needle. I was scared, but my girl was there, holding my hand the entire time. I am so glad she came with me. Just having someone who cares about me enough to take time off their job and to be there offset the entire experience. I'm not so scared of this being 'serious' because of all the publicity breast cancer gets and the fact that so many people are aware of it and fighting it. I feel like I have enough inner strength to get through it. I'm really glad that I found it so early and that it will be removed before it can ever turn into anything serious. Only the moment when the medical procedure actually happens, that is scary. But to have her hand to hold on to, and to know that the doctor and the nurses see that someone cares about me, that helped me get through it.
Thank you for all your kind comments yesterday. They all helped, and it is wonderful to know that there are people who care. I'm not alone.
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3 comments:
Comfort food solves almost everything - emotional things, anyways. ;) I've been learning how to make sourdough and doughnuts (yum) to combat my anxiety/depressed feelings over going back to work from maternity leave (which still sucks, by the way, but in the meantime I'm calm enough to enjoy the time I have left "on vacation" with my kiddos).
With breast cancer getting a lot of attention, it's kind of hard to see past that to the benign lumps that people find every now & then. My sister had one of those a couple years ago in a time of extreme stress. She had it removed and has had no problems since. (She still has a lot going on, but mostly happy things now.) Hoping it goes so smoothly for you!
Best of luck with that!
Stella! I've been lax about checking your site and am sorry to hear about lumps, bumps and other non-happy things. Take care of yourself and I'm thrilled that you have someone to take care of you.
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